Barrel of Laughs


2509 W. Marquette Road
Chicago, Illinois 69629

Last night, I went to a comedy club for the first time in a very long time. I went to Bill Brady’s Barrel of Laughs in Oak Lawn, Illinois. I remember Bill Brady from when he was at the Comedy Womb. I can honestly say that Bill Brady is just as funny today as he was back then. I had meant to write my own standup comedy routine to perform last night, but I never actually finished editing my act, so I went to observe the new talent on Open Mic Night and hopefully learn from them. Well, I’m not sure if I learned any practical lessons since all these comedians reminded me of my past experiences on stage. At least, I observed that performing standup comedy sure has changed for the better! The atmosphere was very congenial and conducive for training new comedians. They had a sign on the stage that prohibited heckling the comedians! Now that’s what I call coddling the comedians.

Since I was a young boy, I have had this secret desire to be a standup comedian and I’m trying to get my nerve up to go on stage again after a brief hiatus of about 21 years. I’m not sure what ever attracted me to standup comedy in the first place since I stuttered and spoke broken English until I was in high school. Whenever I saw comedians on television, I always watched them with affectionate laughter and listened to their every word, memorizing their jokes so I could repeat them later. Since I live in Chicago, which is a breeding ground for all kinds of comedians, I eventually tried my hand at standup comedy with mixed success. My main problem was my stage fright that always hindered me from being comfortable before a large crowd, but not painful enough to prevent me from performing. I worked on improving my comedy act and eventually performed on a local cable TV show no one had ever heard of, including me, until they asked me to be on the show.

Before I ever actually performed standup comedy, my friends Vito, Jim, and I went to some comedy clubs to observe the comedians. We planned everything for our first performances. We tried working together as a team at first, but we were too much of individuals to work together as a team. Eventually, we each wrote our own act that we would perform individually. We helped each other writing jokes for each other and polishing each other’s act. This was all fun and nerve-racking at the same time! Although we never mentioned it to each other, I know we really dreaded our first time on stage. We memorized, rehearsed, and then performed our acts to each other before our debut. We didn’t all perform for the first time on the same night because we performed when we had managed to control our stage fright enough go on stage. I believe Jim, the bravest of the bunch, performed first, followed by me and then Vito. Needless to say, we each made a disastrous debut! But we were extremely proud of ourselves for following through with our plan and going on stage.

Now that I think of it, I’m starting to not only feel that same fear again, but also that same hunger for success again. That’s why I plan to go on stage soon. But first I must fine tune my jokes.

DDR

My writer’s garret


La casa de Diego Rivera

Since my retirement, I’ve been trying to re-create a lot of things from my previous lives. That is, things I had prior to my marriage and children, things that I had to sacrifice for the sake of being a good husband and father.

Now, I can regress a little and so I am trying to recreate my writer’s garret. Back in 1981 BC (Before Children), I had a nice little apartment all to myself that served me well for all my writing purposes. I wrote a lot back then, but nothing incredibly significant like the Great American Novel or the Declaration of Independence. However, I did get published in some local publications. Even though these bylines impressed only me, I was proud of my writing and myself for achieving another one of my personal goals. Furthermore, I also earned enough money to say I was a paid, published writer, even if it wasn’t enough to earn a living. But I was in my glory as an aspiring writer!

So now, in my retirement, I’m trying to write again. To finish the play that I started 25 years ago and have been finishing for the last nine; to start the novel I’ve been meaning to write since I was in grade school but never actually started writing; and just to write everyday just to be able to say that I am a proficient writer. (Only real writers know how to use semicolons!)

To that end, I realized that I need my very own writer’s garret where I can feel comfortable expressing my most inner thoughts as a writer. I decided that I must create this writer’s space where I can agonize over the mot just and play the long-suffering writer who lives under squalid conditions that will induce great literature. I need a place where I may rendezvous with my muse, but she better bring some help because she’s really going to need a lot of reinforcements with me.

And so, I have been constructing my writer’s garret. Only, I’m not too much for playing up the suffering part. I’d rather focus on the creature comforts now, especially now during these warm summer months. Therefore, my “writer’s garret” is air-conditioned and has a ceiling fan. How am I supposed to author the Great American Novel if I’m hot and sweaty? Would you like to read a hot, sweaty novel? Plus, I need music to inspire me. Ergo, I have a high-fidelity sound system in my garret, along with a cordless phone, a fax machine, Internet radio, and a television.

Don’t laugh! So far, it’s working. What you just read is a product of my writer’s garret!

DDR

Chicago chessmen


Chicago Chess Set

There are very few things that I regret in life.

Sure, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, but I usually try to learn from them and not regret them. However, every time I go to downtown Chicago, I recall how much I love and have always loved Chicago.

When I was in grade school and we had a day off from grade school for a holiday, my friend Adrian and I would hop on the bus and go downtown and enjoy a day of sightseeing and just wandering around downtown Chicago.

In high school, I used to compete in chess tournaments in the ballrooms of downtown hotels. Between games, I loved walking around downtown just sightseeing. I especially enjoyed window shopping even though I didn’t have enough money to buy anything.

But one day, I saw something that absolutely amazed me: a chess set. But not just any chess set. This set of chessmen was designed using Chicago icons for the pieces! The chess set was not very functional for tournament play because instead of using the Staunton design, if memory serves me correctly, the rook was the Water Tower, the knight was the Picasso, the queen was Miro’s lady, the king was the Sear Tower, and I forget the rest of the pieces.

This chess set combined my two loves at once. The pieces were made of brushed stainless-steel set on a marble chessboard. I was in such awe of this chess set that I didn’t even bother entering the store to ask how much it cost. I just knew I couldn’t afford it. Well, I regret not entering the store and touching the pieces and not asking how much it cost. Maybe I could have scraped up enough money to buy at least the chessmen.

Over the years, I fondly recall that chess set and every time I go downtown, I look in all the store windows with the hope of finding that chess set. And this time I will buy it regardless of the price!

DDR

This writing life


ddr typing
A young aspiring David Diego Rodríguez

I realized a long, long time ago that I was born to be a writer. Whenever I read a story in grade school, I often had questions about what the story meant and why the story was written that way. I especially loved the English composition assignments that required us to write about personal experiences. I loved those assignments even if we had to present them in front of the whole class. I was a shy boy who stuttered and spoke broken English with a Mexican accent, but once I wrote a masterpiece of an English composition assignment (in my humble oppinion), I wanted the whole world to hear it!

I also went through what I like to call my Russian phase when I read a lot of Russian novels. For months, I read nothing but Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Pasternak, and Chekhov. On those overcast, cold, rainy days, I would say to myself, “What moody and introspective day. Perfect for curling up with a samovar of tea and reading a Russian novel” while listening to Prokofiev.

However, I avoided Russian poetry because as a poet I was still in the “Roses are red, Violets are blue …” phase back then. I realized that the only way I would ever write the Great American Novel would be by imitating the Great Russian writers. So I transformed myself into David Diegovich Rodrigoevsky! (My mother actually playfully would tell her Polish friends that she was Carmen Rodrigowski and I followed suit when I became a Russian novelist. Now that I think of it, I have never met a Polish Carmen!) I began calling my girlfriend Catherine, Katya. When she offered me food, I would tell her, “Nyet! I have a novel to write!” and continue typing away on my electric typewriter. I tried writing with a quill, but the feather kept tickling my nose. Needless to say, I have yet to complete the Great American Novel. But I have lofty ambitions. J

DDR

Ah, retirement!


Pontiac Vibe

I feel as if I have died and gone to heaven! I have finally retired from my job as a police officer after twenty years and twenty-two days. Let’s just say, I came, I saw, I retired. And I’m still young enough to enjoy my retirement. I’ve been very busy relaxing since my last day of work last month and it’s been taking up all my time. Retirement is a fulltime job!

Now that I no longer have to work for anyone else, I am free to fulfill my wildest dreams. I have already made my to-do list and let’s just say that I’m very ambitious. Make no small plans! Since I will have so much leisure time at my disposal, I have decided that I will write the Great American Novel, end world hunger, and cure cancer!

However, while I was driving, something occurred to me. How can I achieve all these lofty and noble goals without first upgrading my car speakers? As I drove, I remembered how I have postponed replacing a fried speaker in my car door for months. Once I have my tunes blasting again, I’ll be ready to work on my new projects. For the rest of my life.

DDR