I’m not a superstitious person by nature. However, I truly believe that it’s bad luck to talk about car accidents while driving. I’ve already had two car accidents while talking about car accidents while driving. Both cars were totaled. So if you’re ever in a car with me, don’t talk about car accidents. If you do, I will tell you to shut up. If you continue talking about car accidents, I will punch you. If we then get into a car accident, that will prove my that my superstition is true. All because you were talking about car accidents!

He’s tireless. And that’s what makes him a great salesman.

He stands on the corner of 103rd Street and Western Avenue perpetually waving his $5 Hot ‘n’ Ready Pizza sign. He wears a baseball cap over his gray hair, but he’s much more energetic than his age would indicate. He’s effective because he makes eye contact with potential customers driving by. I’ve bought a few pizzas because of him. My sons see him and immediately want me to go into the mini strip mall parking lot as the sign guy points the way.

Whenever he’s not there, his younger substitutes aren’t as effective or as tireless as the regular sign guy. One day as I drove past Little Caesar’s, I missed him when I didn’t see him out there hawking pizzas. But then, as I drove past 103rd Street and Kedzie Avenue, I saw the sign guy holding a different sign and directing future customers into the gas station on the corner!

Today, I saw two dead squirrels in Mount Greenwood and two more dead ones in Beverly. I find this unusual because I rarely see any dead squirrels. What happened to them?

Three looked like they were killed in traffic, but one was on the sidewalk at the bottom of a tree. Is there some kind of epidemic? As I was driving home this afternoon, I saw a squirrel in the middle of the street eating an acorn. I would have run it over if I had not swerved to avoid it. It didn’t even budge!

On the first day of the semester, I had students in three separate classes tell me, “I’m Mexican, but I don’t speak Spanish.” And they were genuinely embarrassed as they told me. I knew exactly how they felt because I once felt the same way when I had forgotten how to speak Spanish. I tried to comfort them by telling them about my three sons who don’t speak Spanish either. I always wanted to raise my children in a Spanish-speaking environment where no English was spoken. When I met my ex-wife she always told me to speak Spanish to her. Even though she never responded in Spanish, she understood everything I told her. I truly thought we would have children who spoke Spanish at home. However, she never spoke Spanish and later insisted on me speaking English only. So, I understand when Mexicans are embarrassed because they don’t speak Spanish.

I was once driving in San Diego with my sons after leaving the hotel. I had to wake them up “early” so we could check out of the hotel on time. They were half asleep when we piled into the car.

We had spent the day before at the beach because, “How could we go to California and not go to the beach?” As I was drove away from the hotel, I saw a sign that said, “Old San Diego District.” My sons weren’t interested in seeing much of anything since I woke them up so early. They weren’t enjoying the scenery at all. But I continued my sightseeing tour.

Suddenly, I smelled some delicious Mexican food. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but I knew it was Mexican food. Since I was hungry, I followed the aroma and arrived at a Mexican restaurant that looked like it was transplanted from Mexico. It looked so Mexican!

However, my sons didn’t want to eat there. They would rather sleep than eat! I tried to convince them that they would never have an opportunity to eat a restaurant like this again. So I drove around the restaurant once and we left San Diego. I’m sure that was the best restaurant that I never ate at.