In general, I am very observant about many things around me. However, when it comes to certain things, I’m quite oblivious to reality.
For example, when it comes to sexual orientation, I don’t really keep a scorecard. I have friends whom I have known for many years, and I couldn’t even tell you if they were straight or gay. I judge people by how they treat me. Normally, the subject of sexual orientation never arises.
Once a friend, whom I had known about three years, told me he was gay. I’m not sure why he told me he was gay, but he did. I didn’t know how to take it. Why was he telling me now? He never did tell me why, and I never asked why he made this special announcement to me. We went on being friends very much the same as before the announcement. Later, I saw him at a party with another young man sitting on his lap amorously. It was at that moment that I really thought of him as gay. But we were still friends. Then one day, we were talking, and he began telling me about this girl he’s all gaga over. “Wait a minute!” I told him. “You’re gay!” He then confessed that he was never really sure if he was gay or not. Well, it’s a couple of years later now and he’s still with this girl. In fact, they’re living together.
Once, after my sister returned from Mexico, she told me about one of our cousins. He was in his early twenties, a hairdresser, and living in downtown Mexico City with an older man in his fifties. My cousin was gay. His father, my uncle, was worried about what people would think about his son. He was worried that people would think that his son was gay. My uncle was either in denial or completely oblivious to the fact that his son was gay.
I, however, accepted the fact that I had a gay cousin. I mean, he’s still my cousin! The last time I went to Mexico, I met my cousin again, believing that he was gay. Then, he hands me his cell phone and says, “This is a picture of my daughter.”
I really thought he was gay! But I thought that he had adopted. When he hands me his phone again, he says, “This is a picture of my younger daughter.” A couple of days later, we went to his apartment, and he introduced me to his wife and two daughters. Okay, I thought to myself, I’m confused as to which cousin was gay. But I was pretty sure that I was right about it being him. When I finally talked to my sister again, she confirmed that I had the right cousin, but that he had gotten married. To a woman.
I mowed my lawn today. For the first time all year. My neighbors are disappointed that I don’t have a better lawn. When I first moved into this house five years ago, they introduced themselves to me. They seemed happy to have me as a neighbor.
However, I made the mistake of telling them that I was Mexican. It was a mistake because they immediately assumed that I would have a perfectly manicured, weed-free lawn. In fact, they immediately started asking me for tips on improving their own lawn and garden. I told them that I didn’t know anything about landscaping, but they didn’t believe me. I purposely let my lawn fill with weeds just shatter their image of Mexicans as landscapers.
So, every year since then, I make it a point not to mow my lawn until Memorial Day weekend. They give me dirty looks until I mow my lawn. I remember they once lent me their spreader so I could put weed killer on my lawn, which I did. However, then they started giving me even more tips on lawn care, so I mowed my lawn less frequently then.
I’m sorry, but this is a sticking point with me. I don’t have to live up to my neighbor’s expectations. Soon, they’ll approach me while I’m mowing my lawn and make some suggestions on how I can improve my property. I just hate how they do it, though. Usually, the wife sneaks up behind me while emptying the lawn clippings into the garbage can. And she scares the hell out of me! Because I’m usually all alone in my backyard.
I’m not sure how she has managed to sneak up on me so many times. I can’t wait until she approaches me this year. She’ll probably sneak up on me again. But this time, I’ll be the one to shock her when I tell her that I’m selling my house and moving to Mexico.
Holy Cross School, Back of the Yards, Chicago, Illinois
I wear glasses. I’ve worn them ever since I was in grade school at Holy Cross. The optometrist told me if I wore them while I was young, I wouldn’t need them when I was older. What a lie! I’m still wearing glasses.
I bring up glasses because, as of today, all three out three of my sons (I have no daughters! Alas!) wear eyeglasses. Today, Adam and Alex picked up their new glasses from the optometrist. Adam wasn’t so happy about this, but Alex was exploring his newly corrected vision as if they gave him a new super power, like the kind of super powers that comic-book heroes have.
I knew Adam needed glasses a few weeks ago when we went to the concession stand after his Little League game and he couldn’t read the sign that listed the food for sale. Alex was wandering around the house looking at everything with a renewed appreciation of his eyesight and only now realizing what everything really looked like. For instance, he could read the titles of books that were way up on the top shelf. He never realized that there were words up there.
That reminded me of when I got my glasses at age ten; I should have gotten them three years earlier, but my parents didn’t want to spend all that money just for glasses. My grades would improve and then I would want to go to college!
So when I finally got my glasses, I saw a whole new world. I remember walking home from the optometrist and seeing the trees near my house, as if for the first time. I mean, the green part at the top of the trees consisted of many individual leaves! I knew that, but now I could actually see them for myself. At church before school, I always stared at the girl’s brown coat in front of me. I always liked the brown shade of her coat, the way it wasn’t consistently brown. Then, when I got my glasses, I was excited to learn that her coat was not just brown, but also made from corduroy. And corduroy has lines! I never saw the lines before I got my glasses.
My sons laughed when I told them that I discovered that her coat was made of corduroy. There was one downside to my new glasses until I got used to wearing them. When I looked down at the ground as I walked, it slowly waved up and down as if it were made from Jell-O. If I looked too closely, I wasn’t sure where to put my foot. My sons also thought this was funny.
Today, I saw the second movie of the Chronicles of Narnia with my sons Adam and Alex. Adam was worried about watching the movie because he had never read the book. I was glad that I saw the first movie last week before seeing this one because I wouldn’t have understood some of the allusions otherwise. I thought the sequel was actually better than the first movie. And my sons enjoyed it even though they couldn’t spoil the plot for me. Although this is a serious movie, I laughed at many scenes that were intentionally funny. I was surprised the humor was successful.
One thing that bothered me about the movie was the depiction of the “bad guys.” In most movies, the plot revolves around the conflict between the good guys and the bad guys. That’s just one of the few available movie plots. However, these bad guys look as if they’re from Spain, they have Spanish accents, and they wear the helmets and body armor of the Conquistadors. I mean, these are my ancestors. Spaniards have always been hated from the Middle Ages on. In fact, until about a few hundred years ago, Spain was considered part of Africa by most Europeans. Some of this residue hatred is still present to this day in the U.S. toward all Mexicans. Many things that happened in Europe carried over to the New World. So, this xenophobia toward Mexicans in particular is just an extension of a trend that began in Europe.
I suppose just analyzing this juxtaposition made watching the movie worth my time. That alone gave me plenty to think about! Of course, I didn’t even discuss this issue with my sons afterwards. But someday I will.
Uncle Sam. Sometimes I think of him as tío Samuel. Uncle Sam protects us from ourselves for our own good. By Uncle Sam I mean the federal government that wields so much control over our lives that sometimes it downright scary. For the most part, federal laws protect us and maintain civic order in our country. Uncle Sam intervenes so much in our daily life, but the average citizen is unaware just how much.
You’re probably wondering how Uncle Sam entered into your home without your knowledge. Food products are regulated as far as what ingredients are allowed and how foods may or may not be prepared. In a perfect world, this system works perfectly. However, government inspections aren’t as thorough as they should be. Food must be packaged safely for the consumer. Manufacturers must seal all food products to prevent them from getting contaminated from dirt, disease, etc. If they use a sealant of any kind, it must be made from edible ingredients just in case it gets into the product accidently or a consumer accidentally eats it. It’s a federal law.
Just think of those candy wrappers when you open them and you see the glue stretching. If a small child ate that glue, he or she will not suffer any harmful efffects thanks to Uncle Sam. And back in the old days, before e-mail, when we used to lick postage stamps, Uncle Sam mandated that the glue on the back of the stamps be made from edible and nutritious ingredients! Thank you, Uncle Sam. For some people, that was the most nutritious item of their daily diet.
Let’s not forget that letter that we used to write on actual paper with actual ink. Well, Uncle Sam also regulated those items. All pens manufactured in the U.S. have chemical markers in their ink in order to determine the year of their manufacture. If you use fancy stationary with a watermark, the watermark contains identifying marks that also determine the year of its manufacture. Why? So Uncle Sam can protect us. Suppose someone wrote a will. The ink and stationary would determine with some degree of certainty the year that it was written. So if someone found the will, say an heir, and he didn’t like the fact that he didn’t inherit the entire estate, he could rewrite the will on new stationary, but the chemical markers in the new ink and the identifying marks on the stationary would immediately reveal the fraud. There are thousands of other federal laws on the books that help Uncle Sam in his mission to protect us from ourselves.
Look at any electrical appliance in your home. All electrical appliances must be labeled, by federal law, to indicate power source and at least one federal government agency will be listed also, e.g. FCC on telephones.
Let me see. Let me find an electrical appliance in my own home. Okay, how about that wonderful labor-saving device (that really didn’t need to invented), the electric can opener. Well, it lists the manufacturer’s information and toll-free telephone numbers for their offices in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico (Thanks to NAFTA). However, this can opener is MADE IN CHINA. Also listed is the power requirement: 120V ~ 60Hz. Why does it have to 120 volts? Why does it have to be 60 Hertz? Because it’s a federal law. Uncle Sam is protecting us and regulating us with this law. This way the electricity is uniform throughout the country. Because of this law mandated by Uncle Sam, it’s also uniform throughout Mexico and Canada. That means you safely plug in any electrical appliance, even if it’s made in China, anywhere in NAFTA-land and you will not be seriously injured.
Okay, we don’t want too much voltage so we don’t fry ourselves, but why, you ask, 60 Hertz? This is where Uncle Sam gets a little sneaky. The electricity that is wired into our homes is AC, or alternating current, that alternates at the frequency of 60 Hertz. Everywhere in the U.S. and NAFTA-land.
But what is the significance of 60 Hertz? Think about the number 60 for a moment. Does it ring a bell? It’s a nice round number. Well, there just happens to be 60 seconds per minute and 60 minutes per hour. Uncle Sam insists that our electricity alternate at 60 Hertz so we can plug in electric clocks and they will tell us the time fairly accurately. Uncle Sam maintains civic order by making the correct time available to everyone so we can all get to school, work, etc. on time. They also give us more hours of daylight by adjusting our clocks twice a year with Daylight Saving Time. It’s a federal law! And everyone follows Uncle Sam’s schedule because if we didn’t, we would be an hour early for everything from springtime and all the way through the fall when the clocks are turned back to their “real” time. As you can see, Uncle Sam controls many aspects of our daily lives.
There is also a computer chip in your car that records various statistics about your driving habits. The auto manufacturers will tell you that’s for maintenance purposes. If you take your car to the dealer, they plug it into a computer that prints out a complete diagnosis of all mechanical problems. However, suppose you get into an accident, your mileage and velocity are recorded by this computer chip with an extremely accurate timeline.
I read in the newspaper about an accident that occurred near my house. It was a hit and run accident in which a pedestrian was killed as he attempted to cross the street at a stop sign. In a few days, the offender was finally apprehended. It turned out that he was a police officer who immediately made out a false police report that his car was stolen. Well, his girlfriend turned him in because she felt bad for the dead teenage boy and his family. In his defense, the driver stated that he was driving 30 MPH, the speed limit. However, the crime scene indicated otherwise. Well, they investigated the onboard computer chip and discovered that he was driving well over the speed limit, about 70 MPH. I suppose this was a good use of the computer chip, but what if the government is using it to track our every movement?
Uncle Sam supports all these laws with our tax dollars. And we all pay our taxes religiously because we don’t want to risk being convicted and confined in a federal prison for income tax evasion. You can get away with a lot of crimes, including murder, in this country, but just don’t pay your taxes and see what happens. Just think of Al Capone. This how Uncle Sam controls us. Uncle Sam also controls a lot of countries in international politics. If he doesn’t like your political leadership style, he’ll just take you out, e.g. Saddam Hussain.
Uncle Sam controls many aspects of our daily lives in our homes and in the national and international arenas. They also control immigration, legal and illegal. That’s right, illegal immigration, and from almost all countries on Earth, not just Mexico. Why doesn’t Uncle Sam do something about this rampant illegal immigration? Oh, yes, there are the immigration stings that you see in the news where they round up a few hundred illegal immigrants that are nothing more than political posturing.
Most people assume that only Mexicans were rounded up in these stings, but other illegal immigrants were also arrested, such Ukrainians, Poles, Chinese. Uncle Sam has so much power, not just over us, but over many of the world’s countries that he could easily stop practically all illegal immigration at all our borders and international airports. Uncle Sam uses its military might to take over countries with tens of millions of inhabitants, but he can’t stop a few hundred thousand illegal immigrants per year entering the USA? Why is this? Well, because the American economy would collapse without illegal immigrants who work at less than minimum wages. How many American citizens would work these back-breaking agricultural and factory jobs? American jobs would go south to Mexico or, worse yet, overseas.
So Uncle Sam turns a blind eye in order to prop up the American economy. In fact, every so often, Uncle Sam grants amnesty to illegal immigrants by the millions, indirectly condoning and rewarding illegal immigration.
Chicago USA 