Street people

Okay, all you people working the streets of Chicago. Leave me alone! You, selling “Ice-cold water! Ice-cold water!” Don’t tap on my window. I’m not hot and thirsty because I’m in an air-conditioned car! Hey Homeless Man, stop asking me for money for food. At least be honest. Just say you want to buy a bottle of whiskey. The last time I gave you my sandwich, I saw you throw it away. Squeegee guy! Please don’t squeegee my windshield clead when it’s raining out. That’s why I have the windshield wipers on! Preacher Man, yeah you with the portable sound system standing on the corner of Washington and State. Don’t preach to me when I’m walking arm in arm with my date for a night on the town. Do I look like I’m preoccupied by Eternal Damnation? Newspaper Dude, pay attention to your customers. When I actually want to buy a newspaper, I want service with a smile. I don’t have time to wait for you while you flirt with the crossing guard. Mr. Street Salesman, if I’m wearing a suit and tie, I most certainly don’t want to buy white socks! Hey Lady of the Evening standing on the corner! I really don’t want to take you out on a date! Ever! Mr. Sax Player, no one wants to hear the same Christmas carol over and over again in July! Hey! Bucket Boys! I have nothing against the Bucket Boys, but get a performer’s license so you won’t ever have to run away from the police again!

Leave me alone! Sorry. Not you, Officer!