Tag: St. Patrick’s Day

New Chicago ordinances


Can you find Easy Street on the Chicago map?

Chicago and Illinois residents awoke this morning to a new set of Chicago ordinances. Mayor Daley called an early morning secret meeting of the Chicago City Council. New city ordinances were enacted under the cover of night, surprisingly reminiscent of the Miegs Field Airport closing. The new Chicago ordinances take effect immediately.

  • All reporters are hereby prohibited from  using the words “clout” and “bribes” in the same sentence with the name of Da Mayor or any council member.
  • Parking ticket books will be issued to all Chicagoans who purchase a Chicago city sticker.
  • Richard J. Daley is now formally recognized as one of Chicago’s founding fathers.
  • Illinois is now officially a suburb of the city of Chicago.
  • Lawsuits against the city of Chicago will immediately be dismissed if not filed by an attorney with Machine clout.
  • Four-day school week will become the law for teachers. Students will continue to attend school five days per week.
  • Old police motto of  “To Serve and Protect” on police cruisers will be replaced with “To Curb and Collect.”
  • O’Hare Airport passengers are now officially Chicago citizens and must pay property taxes while at O’Hare.
  • Lake Michigan is now Lake Chicago.
  • St. Patrick’s Day will only be celebrated on March 17.
  • Days of the week beginning with the letter “R” or “D” are now parking meter holidays.
  • Alternate Leap Days will be designated “The City that Works” Day, whereupon all city workers must work a full day.
  • Yesterday’s problems will be deferred to future generations.

Día de San Patricio


Mural by Juan O'Gorman, Biblioteca Central, UNAM, México D.F.

Today is St. Patrick’s Day. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I celebrated by eating shamrock cookies with green icing that an Irish student brought to Spanish class. I love when students bring food to class. I once had some green beer to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with some Irish friends, but I didn’t like it. So I switched to Guinness instead.

Cinco de Mayo


Catering to Gringolandia.

Cinco de Mayo is another Mexican holiday that our Mexican family never celebrated. I never even heard of it until I was old enough to drink alcoholic beverages. I think that it has become a beer company holiday in America, just as Hallmark appropriated Valentine’s Day into a holiday in order to sell Valentine’s Day cards. Beer companies would love to see Cinco de Mayo become a Mexican St. Patrick’s Day! Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of publicity about the celebration for it. Chicago had a Cinco de Mayo parade downtown on the same day as the Polish Constitution Day parade. Personally, I don’t understand why anyone would celebrate Cinco de Mayo. On May 5, 1862, Mexicans defeated the French at Puebla, just west of Mexico City. However, the Mexicans then went on to lose the war and were ruled by the French until 1862. Is this cause for celebration?