My American accent


Sombrero in a Chicago restaurant.

I am bilingual. I know Spanish and English. I like to think that I speak, read, and write two languages very, very fluently. However, I always have the vague feeling that I don’t communicate like a native speaker in either language. Sometimes people tell me that I speak English with an accent, which I don’t doubt at all.

As I was driving through to Mexico to visit my family, I had no trouble communicating with anyone. Except at the border where I applied for an auto permit to drive in Mexico. The clerk asked me something that I didn’t understand. She repeated it three times, but I understood everything else she said, except for one word. She asked if I drove a Pontiac. But she pronounced Pontiac in Spanish, and I didn’t recognize the word immediately. Finally, her colleague pronounced Pontiac in English and I understood. This taught me that I had to adjust my way of listening since I would be listening to different dialects.

Once I reached Celaya, I had no trouble communicating with anyone. I met my family, and we understood each other perfectly. Ditto for my relatives in Mexico City. They mentioned other family members who had come from the U.S. who spoke no Spanish at all. However, a few relatives discreetly mentioned my accent, of which I have always been painfully aware. I wanted to buy some Mexican T-shirts for my sons at the mercado and my cousin told me to be quiet and she would do the haggling. If they heard me speak, they would think I was tourist, and we wouldn’t get a fair price. On the one hand, I had an American accent, but on the other, several people mentioned that I spoke Spanish extremely well. Well, that’s me to a tee. I abound in paradoxes. I speak Spanish with an accent, but very well. A few people mentioned that I stuttered through plenty of conversations while speaking Spanish. I pointed out that I stutter in English, too. But I was incredibly happy that I could communicate in Spanish in Mexico!

DDR

Mr. X


Mr. X

My father always liked to remain mysterious. I always knew him as Diego Rodríguez. At least that was always his legal name, as far as I knew. Sometimes he would receive mail addressed to Diego Rodríguez, Diego José Rodríguez, José Diego Rodríguez, or J. Diego Rodríguez. However, whenever he signed any contract, closing papers, or loan application, he would never sign his name the same way twice in the same document.

Some of his friends who would come looking for him would ask for him by other names such Jim, Jimmy, Joe, José, and sometimes Diego. My favorite name that my father used was Mr. X. I don’t know how or where he got it, but it certainly fit my father. One day, one of his friends came to our house asking for Mr. X and I didn’t know for whom he was asking. Finally, he asked for my father. When my father came out, he called this visitor Mr. X. So, they both knew each other as Mr. X! I don’t think they ever learned each other’s names until it was too late.

Years later, my father took me to Mr. X’s wake. Only then did my father learn his name. To this day, some people still call my father Mr. X.

DDR

Waiting for Montezuma


El Palacio Presidencial, Mexico DF

Okay, the one thing that worried me even more than the drive to Mexico was the fear of getting sick there. You know, Montezuma’s Revenge. When I went to Mexico in 1978, my mother advised me as to what to eat and what to avoid eating in order not to get sick. Since she went to Mexico every year, I honestly believed she knew what she was talking about. She told me, and I still remember to this day, to avoid drinking the water and eating fruits, chicken, and eggs. But most important of all: “Don’t drink the water!” I was there for a month, and I really enjoyed myself despite depriving myself of some foods in the beginning.

When I took the bus to Celaya with my aunt and cousin, all my relatives were eating chicarrón and I couldn’t resist indulging myself. Besides, chicharrón was NOT on my mother’s list of foods to avoid. So, I really, really indulged on chicharrón! Well, the next day, I felt nauseous, me who rarely gets sick. Soon, I was vomiting and had the runs. Simultaneously! My aunt attributed my illness to the chicharrón I had eaten. I felt so deathly ill that the only thing that kept me living was the hope that I would die. But blessings sometimes come disguised. After I recovered a few days later, I was able to eat anything I wanted. I even drank the water without getting sick again.

So, when I went to Mexico this time, I dreaded the risk of getting sick again. I remembered my mother’s list. But then I thought that if I got sick immediately I could then enjoy the rest of my trip with my newly acquired immunity. I drank agua de horchata, which is rice water that is very tasty. I assume that it’s made primarily of water, unpurified water, that is. It even had ice cubes! Presumably, also made from unpurified water.

When I went to my aunt’s house, I ate some fruit (I don’t remember what it was called) from a tree in her back yard and she scolded me for eating the peel since I didn’t wash it. Well, I kept waiting for my impending onset of “discomfort” with Montezuma’s Revenge. I remained healthy the entire trip! I felt like a real Mexican!

DDR

Kiss


Once, soon after my son started getting into the latest cool music, according to his friends, my son asked me if I had ever heard of the rock band Kiss. He described the band before telling me the name because he just assumed that I had never heard of them. Not only that, but I also knew all their names. Wow! Was he in for a surprise!

I told him that not only had I heard of them, but that I also had all of their albums–on black vinyl, of course! He was shocked. I then proceeded to show him the Kiss albums and he was in awe of me. I truly believe my cool factor with him increased exponentially at that precise moment. Flattered by all this, I gave him all my Kiss albums. That nearly floored him. Then, I pulled the ace from up my sleeve: “I once went to a Kiss concert,” I told him. He was truly impressed by this. “And I can prove it, too!” I opened up the Kiss Alive album and pointed to a fan in the audience who resembled me when I was younger.

That was perhaps the coolest moment between my son and me! Sometimes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

DDR

Newspapers


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The paper and ink newspaper as we know it is dying out. More people are reading the news on the Internet, including me. Newspaper deliveries are declining every year.

However, I still enjoy holding a hard copy of the newspaper. Besides, I enjoy crossword puzzles on paper rather than doing it on the computer. So, this morning, I walked to the corner coffee shop to buy either the Chicago Sun-Times or the Chicago Tribune after shoveling the snow from my sidewalks in 4-degree temperature.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that there were no more newspapers left at the coffee shop! I asked if they had already sold out. No! They were never delivered because of the cold temperatures and snow!

I remember when I was a boy and had a paper route, I always delivered the newspaper regardless of the weather! Once after a snowstorm, I wanted to ensure that all my customers received their newspapers, so I tied a cardboard box to my sled and went to pick up my newspapers at the branch office. All the other delivery boys laughed at me when they saw me pulling the sled. Even the owner of the delivery service laughed.

I rolled up my newspapers and placed them in the box on my sled. The other boys would deliver their papers using bikes and wagons as they usually did, or so they thought. Well, I delivered all my newspapers through about two feet of snow, even though it did take me a lot longer than usual. I was immensely proud of my idea of using a sled to deliver my newspapers even if everyone else laughed at me. The next day, when I went to the branch office to deliver the papers, all the other boys had brought a sled with them. I burst out laughing when I saw all the sleds! I couldn’t resist. Everyone complained about how they got stuck in the snow with their bikes and wagons. They took hours longer to make all their deliveries.

As I delivered the newspapers, I often fantasized about other things, the usual boyhood fantasies about cars and girls, in that order. I thought, if I were rich enough, I would deliver my newspapers from the back of my limousine. And, I wouldn’t even have to get out. I would have the chauffeur carefully place the newspaper between the screen door and door, but I would watch him vigilantly to ensure he delivered it properly. For the sake of variety, I thought that I would have seven limousines, so I could have a different color for each day of the week. This way I wouldn’t get bored. This was my favorite fantasy until my best friend Patrick pointed out that if I were rich enough to have a chauffeur and a limousine, let alone seven, I wouldn’t even need a paper route to earn some spending money.

DDR