Newspapers

The paper and ink newspaper as we know it is dying out. More and more people are reading the news on the Internet, including me. Newspaper deliveries are declining every year. However, I still enjoy holding a hard copy of the newspaper. Besides, I enjoy a crossword puzzle on paper rather than doing it on the computer. So this morning, I walked to the corner coffee shop to buy either the Chicago Sun-Times or the Chicago Tribune after shoveling the snow from my sidewalks in 4 degree temperature. Imagine my surprise when I saw that there were no more newspapers left at the coffee shop! I asked if they had already sold out. No! They were never delivered because of the cold temperatures and snow! I remember when I was a boy and had a paper route I always delivered the newpaper regardless of the weather! Once after a snowstorm, I wanted to ensure that all my customers received their newspapers, so I tied a cardboard box to my sled and went to pick up my newspapers at the branch office. All the other delivery boys laughed at me when they saw me dragging the sled. Even the owner of the delivery service laughed. I rolled up my newspapers and placed them in the box on my sled. The other boys would deliver their papers using bikes and wagons as they usually did, or so they thought. Well, I delivered all of my newspapers through about two feet of snow, even though it did take me a lot longer than usual. I was very proud of my idea of using a sled to deliver my newspapers even if everyone else laughed at me. The next day when I went to the branch office to deliver the papers, almost all of the other boys had brought a sled with them. I busted out laughing when I saw all the sleds! I couldn’t resist. Everyone complained about how they got stuck in the snow with their bikes and wagons. They took hours longer to make all of their deliveries.

As I delivered the newspapers, I often fantasized about other things, the usual boyhood fantasies about cars and girls, in that order. I thought, if I were rich enough, I would deliver my newspapers from the back of my limousine. And, I wouldn’t even have to get out. I would have the chauffeur carefully place the newspaper between the screendoor and door, but I would watch him vigilantly to ensure he delivered it properly. For the sake of variety, I thought that I would have seven limousines, so I could have a different color for each day of the week. This way I wouldn’t get bored. This was my favorite fantasy until my best friend Patrick pointed out that if I were rich enough to have a chauffeur and a limousine, let alone seven, I wouldn’t even need a paper route to earn some spending money.