Sticking it to the man

Can't stop sticking it to the man!

I love sticking it to the man. I mean, who doesn’t? It’s an American pastime. We all stick it the man whenever possible. 

So who is the man? Well, if you want me to tell who the man is, I will be honest and say I don’t know who the man is. You asked the wrong person. But I have my theories. I can’t describe the man to you because he has never formally introduced himself to me. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the man is behind all those rules and regulations that we must obey everyday. And to top it all off, the man may be either male or female. Yes, the man is a cross dresser. If you look around, you will observe that the man is all around us. In fact, sometime I feel as if the man has gotten inside of me. To counter the man, I have formulated my own rules and regulations for sticking it to the man. How do I stick it to The Man? Let me count the ways! 

First of all, always call the man, the man. In lowercase letters. You have to diss him in every way possible and that begins by not dignifying the man by using uppercase letters to write the man! Don’t even put the man in quotes! My only lament is that our only options for writing are only uppercase and lowercase fonts. I’ve been working on new font to write the man. I call it undercase. Or, perhaps I should call it negativecase. But I’m afraid such a font would be invisible to my readers and no one would know to whom I was sticking it. Another interesting possibility would be the man, with the strike-through font. Nah, that just not good enough for sticking it to the man! I think I’ll just stick to sticking it to the man.

The second thing, never tell the man that you are sticking it the man. Sometimes, the man doesn’t even know that he’s the man! If he denies that he’s the man, well, then that certainly means he’s the man. You just can’t take any chances. Just assume anyone who wants to order you around is the man.

So I stick it to the man whenever possible. When I cross the street, I don’t walk completely within the cross walk lines, obviously put their by the man. I always get at least three footsteps outside the cross walk zone, even it’s only measurable in millimeters. You know how they taught you in driver’s ed that all forward motion must cease. Well, I never come to a complete stop at stop signs. I only appear to stop, but my car keeps creeping forward. I get free smells at all restaurants–not just Jimmy John’s. I bite the hand that feeds me, especially if it belongs to the man. I would like to tell you more ways that I stick it to the man, but I don’t want the man to know all of my strategies and ploys. That’s my way of sticking it to the man!

How do you stick it to the man? 

Rock, paper, scissors

Rock, Paper, Scissors

You may think that rock, paper, scissors is only a child’s game, but they actually have a world championship in which contestants from all over the world compete. Well, that got me to thinking about the game. This is a game for all ages. The entire family can play. There’s no equipment to buy. The rules are simple and cheating is impossible. Chances are no one will get hurt while playing, unless college students play it as a drinking game. The game is easy to play. Everyone forms a circle and makes a fist that is raised and lowered three times. On the third downward stroke, the hand must form one of three things: Rock (fist), Paper (hand held open with palm down), or Scissors (index and middle fingers mimicking a pair of scissors). Rock breaks Scissors. Paper covers Rock. Scissors cut Paper. The beauty of this game is that no one player has an unfair advantage. Size doesn’t matter. Neither does gender or speed. Not even skill or luck! Everyone has a shot at winning. Each item, is a potential winner or loser. Beauty, eh? It’s a great game for choosing who goes first for another game.

Well, we are like each of those items. We, too, possess this duality that coincides beautifully with the yin and yang symbol. We are a rock in that sometimes we must be strong and forceful, but that won’t always work for us because someone who becomes paper will defeat us. So we have to choose what we become carefully. Unlike the game in which chance plays a huge part because we don’t know what the other player(s) will show, in real life we can adapt to the situation and use the appropriate object. We must constantly change accordingly. Anyone who consistently uses one object will surely fail. We must constantly evaluate our surroundings and adapt. Rock, paper, scissors is the perfect metaphor for life.

Rock! No, wait! I meant paper. No, I mean scissors!