Secrets


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“A secret is something you tell one person at a time.'”
“Three can keep a secret if two are dead.”

I know how to keep a secret! A while back, my brother told me he was getting divorced after thirty-five years of marriage. He prefaced his announcement by asking me not to tell anyone. I promised not to tell anyone.

A few months later, my brother posted his plans to get divorced on Facebook. I saw the post and thought he phrased it in such a way that blamed neither party for the divorce. My wife was surprised by his announcement. She asked me, “Did you see that your brother is getting divorced?” “Yes, I knew about his divorce. He told me a few months ago that he was getting divorced.” My wife was surprised I knew and then asked me, “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because I promised him not to tell anyone. So, I didn’t tell anyone.” She insisted that I could have told her because she was my wife, and she should have been privy to such information. Well, I did not–and will not in the future–tell her or anyone a secret someone shared with me in strict confidentiality.

I know how to keep a secret!

DDR

Thanksgiving Day


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The other day in Spanish class, a student asked my how to say Thanksgiving Day in Spanish. I immediately said, “El Día de Acción de Gracias.”

Another student asked me if Thanksgiving Day was celebrated in Mexico or anywhere else in Latin America. I explained that Thanksgiving Day is an American Holiday. He then wanted to know why there was a Spanish name for Thanksgiving Day.

The main reason is that there are forty-one million Spanish Speakers in the United States. Most of us are thankful to be in United States, therefore we celebrate Thanksgiving Day, or el Día de Acción de Gracias in Spanish.

The USA is a mixture of many cultures. And this is one further example.

Haircuts


“Did you get a haircut?
“No, I got them all cut!”

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I have been getting haircuts my entire life. For as long as I can remember. I’m sure I even got haircuts before I could remember them. My mom was my first barber. I am reminded of my haircuts now, because I just got a haircut.

Most of my barbers have been Italian, except for my mom, of course. I had two Italian barbers who were both named Aldo of Italy. I patronized both for about ten years each. My next Italian barber was at UIC, but I cannot recall his name right now. My present barber is Vincenzo who has an enthusiastic sense of humor. My mother’s name is Carmen, and although she’s not an Italian barber, she does have an Italian name–except in Italian, it’s a man’s name.

I found my barber Vincenzo because of my present wife Beata, who also is not an Italian barber, nor does she have an Italian name. I was complaining to Beata about the long wait at the UIC barber shop because the two older barbers had retired and the youngest barber, but not so young anymore, told me after he hired a couple of twenty-something barbers, “I remember when I was the kid of the barbershop!” Tempus fugit!

Anyway, my wife has a half-Yorkie, half-Shi-Tzu dog named Pluto that needs regular haircuts at the dog groomer. So, one day, she comes home after dropping Pluto at the groomer and tells me, “I found a new barber for you!” The barbershop was right next door to the dog groomer. Since I didn’t like the wait at the barbershop at UIC, I went longer intervals without haircuts, which annoyed my wife because she liked me better when my hair was short.

The next time Pluto needed to be groomed, Beata took Pluto and me for a ride. We dropped Pluto off at the groomer and then she walked me next door to the barbershop. This was a real barbershop, a man’s barbershop for the macho he-man. Vincenzo didn’t introduce himself to me, nor did I. He swept his open palm invitingly to the barber chair where I sat down. My wife sat right across from me, as if I would try to bolt out before getting my unwanted haircut. Vincenzo asked me, “How do you want your haircut?” I pointed to my wife and said, “You have to please my wife.” Without missing a beat, Vincenzo said, “No! You have to please your wife!”

My wife laughed, I laughed. Vincenzo laughed. Vincenzo has been my barber ever since.

El velorio


Nadie llamaba de México a menos que fuera una emergencia. No entendía mucho entre los sollozos de su mamá. Sólo sabía que su papá se enfermó la semana pasada, pero sólo lo supo por una carta que apenas llegó esa mañana. Por fin, su mamá dejó de llorar y le explicó a Carmen que tenía que ver a su papá ahora mismo. Sería la última oportunidad. Toda la familia estaba al lado de su cama donde agonizaba. En el fondo, oyó una voz débil, “¡Tienes que venir! ¡Tu papá pregunta por ti! También quiere ver a su nuevo nieto.”

Inmediatamente consiguió boletos para volar a México y su esposo la llevó al aeropuerto. Tenían que despegar de Newark, pero cuando pidieron direcciones al aeropuerto, el vecino puertorriqueño se equivocó y les dio direcciones para el aeropuerto en New York. Nunca oía la diferencia entre Newark y New York.

Cuando llegaron a la puerta de embarque, el agente les dijo que estaban en el aeropuerto equivocado. Corrieron al coche y se fueron para el aeropuerto en Newark. Llegaron justo cuando se despegó su vuelo. Carmen empezó a llorar. Ahora no vería a su papá por última vez. Su esposo trataba de calmarla, pero lloraba aún más. Un hombre la vio y le preguntó que pasaba. Le explicó que perdió su vuelo para ver a su papá que estaba a punto de morir. Por casualidad, el hombre volaba a Texas por avión privado. Le ofreció llevarla hasta Texas y de allí le arreglaría cómo llegar a México.

Cuando llegó a Celaya, ya era de noche y vio la luz por las ventanas de la recámara de sus padres. Miró adentro y vio velas por todas partes. Tocó a la puerta y el perro ladró. Pero nadie le abría la puerta. Se acercó a la ventana de la recámara encendida y lo vio rodeado de su esposa y sus hijas. Tenía una foto de Carmen en sus manos. Todos rezaban.

Carmen fue a tocar a la puerta de nuevo. Esta vez, la puerta abrió y vio a su hermana Laura con una charola con tazas de café para todos. Cuando Laura vio a Carmen con su hijo, gritó “¡Ay!” y dejó caer la charola de café. El perro le ladraba a Carmen que ahora tenía miedo de entrar. Laura corrió a la recámara donde todos estaban, pero no regresó por el susto que sufrió. Volvió la mamá a la puerta y empezó a llorar. Abrazó a Carmen y a su hijo. Les dijo a los demás que vinieran a la puerta para saludar a Carmen y a su hijo. Todos la abrazaban y lloraban.

Por fin, Carmen les preguntó, “Pero ¿por qué lloran? ¿Ya falleció mi papá? Es que llegué demasiado tarde, ¿verdad?”

“No, todavía no,” dijo su mamá. “Lloramos de alegría. ¡Creíamos que estabas muerta!”

Laura dijo, “Me asusté porque creía que vi tu fantasma.”

Carmen les dijo que no entendía lo que pasaba, pero estaba contenta de ver a todos.

Finalmente, su mamá le dijo que cuando fueron por ella al aeropuerto, les dijeron que se estrelló su avión y que todos los pasajeros murieron. Creían que Carmen y su hijo habían muerto. Pero no era así. Y Carmen pudo despedirse de su papá antes de que falleciera.

futbol1

Sirius XM in México


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Before I drove to México earlier this month, I searched online to see if I would be able to listen to Sirius XM in México. I guess few people with satellite radio travel to México and then post whether Sirius XM will work in México because I found exactly zero results. Well, I am now posting that I went to México, and I was able to listen to Sirius XM in México while I drove all the way to México City. There were some bad reception areas, but overall, the quality was incredibly good. This certainly made my driving experience much more enjoyable. So, now you know, in case you ever want to drive to México City and want to listen to Sirius XM down México way.