Resolutions

I didn’t make any resolutions this year. But my wife was kind enough to make some for me. And she posted the list on the refrigerator door. Just like Martin Luther posted his 95 Theses on the Wittenberg Cathedral door. Resolution number one? More date nights. And in parenthesis, but not to comedy clubs. Resolution Number two: Say “I love you!” more often. And in parenthesis, before you say it to our dog Earl. And Resolution Number three: Put the toilet seat down! I don’t know what the rest of the resolutions were. Because I crumpled up that list and flushed it down the toilet. After I put the toilet seat down!