Mysterious ring

The other day, my wife said that we needed milk. So I volunteered to go to the Speedway Gas Station to buy milk. My wife said, “No! You need to go to Trader Joe’s. Buy organic milk, Himalayan salt, and bee pollen tablets.”

Well I made the mistake of wearing a Hawaiian shirt. When I get there, I can’t get to the dairy section right away. A woman asked me how much the cucumbers cost. She was fondling the cucumbers. I can’t help but stare at her ring. I had never seen a ring like that before. To me it looked either a flower. Or a taco. Then she noticed me staring. She said, “I see you staring at my vagina ring!” I was shocked! I looked at it more closely and it did look very realistic. Probably because she had hairy knuckles. I shouldn’t have said anything, but I blurted out, “Is that actual size?” That was the wrong thing to say!

Well, I’m no longer allowed at Trader Joe’s. I ended up bringing home milk from the Speedway Gas Station. But now I know what I’m buying my wife for her birthday! And I know her size!